It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize
