I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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