If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
