the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
