dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
