woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I deserve this hangover.
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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