I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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