Christians are straight up FREAKS
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
