Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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