I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Four minutes until I can fart!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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