i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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