erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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