I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
