16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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