you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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