I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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