I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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