forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
