We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
