Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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