The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize