doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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