That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize