I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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