Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
being pregnant is like rehab
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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