I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
