Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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