dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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