We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
