I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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