She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
