Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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