I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
