Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
