we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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