i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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