We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
