Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
