If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
