He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
