she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
