so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
