Life is so much better after having sex.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Randomize
