Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
