But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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