you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
