Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize