He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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