I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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