Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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