you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
