It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
