Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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