Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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