True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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