Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The maid of honor just puked.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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