I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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