3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize