WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
