I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
