Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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