We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
