So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
