New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
