Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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