I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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