Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
