so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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