is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize