Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?

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(216): View more from Ohio

I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.

Fav 22 4627 898
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(706): View more from Georgia

Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.

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(941): View more from Florida

I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.

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(540): View more from Virginia

i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.

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(512): View more from Texas

With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.

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(360): View more from Washington

Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.

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