I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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