I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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