Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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