She's JV to your varsity
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
