I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
