if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Sacagawea was the original milf.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
