Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize