I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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