i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
