no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize