i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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