i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
